@IamTheAlleyCat won the THIRD NAUGHTY GIRL CHALLENGE. Having a post of her own, she decided to write an erotic story about Bella and Edward and a pickle. THIS IS DIRTY as it gets... don't read any further if you can't handle hot and wet loving.
Her winning entry ~~~ "I never thought a pickle could be such an erotic object, but when I
took that moist, long, slightly beaded on the edges object and used it
to thrust into my ass, I thought I had discovered heaven."
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters,
settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original
characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way
associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No
copyright infringement is intended.
Warnings: Mature themes involving a pickle, deeply
disturbing, crackfic. I blame it all on Jasper’s Woman.
Thank you to Simaril for giving this a good preread.
It’s a Pickle
It was a hot summer day in the middle of July. The wedding
was a month away, and Alice was in full Wedding-Planner mode. Bella was tired,
and she was happy when an opportunity presented itself to
spend the day alone with Edward in the Cullen house while the family was out.
Alice, Esme, and Rosalie went shopping—no surprise there—while Carlisle, Jasper,
and Emmett went for a hunt. Bella wore that skimpy nighty that Jake told her he
really liked when they were going over a Victoria’s Secret catalogue, and she
really hoped that this would be the magic piece to convince Edward to rid her
of her virtue.
She made sure to wear easy access skirt and blouse, and when
Edward looked at her, she thought she could see a hint of something in his
package. She was really hoping that it was just a hint because otherwise, she
was in for a freaking very long eternity with a very small amount of
satisfaction.
They went up to Edward’s room, and soon, she managed to turn
in his lap and get her hands in his shirt. He was playing along for a while and
she smiled when she heard him hiss and moan when he looked down her shirt. She
had made sure to leave three buttons open as she left her house. Bella knew
that Edward would need some encouragement in that department.
“Bella...you’ll be the death of me.” Edward groaned and pinched the bridge
of his nose.
She didn’t really understand why he kept saying that. He was
already dead, very dead if she were to count on the fact that she didn’t
feel anything poking her thigh yet, and she was freaking rubbing her thong-covered
ass in his lap!
“Come on, Edward, let’s get at least past first base!”
“But we’re not playing baseball, love,” Edward
reminded her. “And you know that I want us to wait until after we’re married to
engage in such activities.”
“But that’s exactly my problem!” Bella huffed. “We’re not engaging
in anything.”
Edward decided that the best way to hush her would be to kiss her,
so he did just that. He knew that it wouldn’t take much effort for him to get
her thoughts back on kisses. He could give her a little more, he decided.
Moving his hands down the sides of her body, he let himself cup her ass and
smiled when she mewled in pleasure. However, after a few minutes, when Bella
tried to take off her own shirt for the third time, he decided that he needed a
break. And Bella could use a cold shower, he thought.
“I have something I need to take care of, Bella,” he said as
he pulled away from her kiss. “Do you think you could handle yourself for an
hour and a half until I get back?”
Bella pouted. “What do you need to do?”
“It’s a surprise, sweetie.”
“You know I hate surprises.”
“I know, but I think you’ll like this one.” Edward knew that
all he would have to do was find her a Jane Austin book or a collection of the
classics, and she’d be placated. It was nice to have such a low maintenance
girlfriend. He knew that she would be the perfect wife.
Bella huffed. “Fine, go. But come back as soon as you can.”
She tried to smile coyly. “I’ll be all alone here in this big house...”
“It’s not that big, Bella.” Edward put her on the couch and
stood up. “And if you need me, you know how to use the landline, right?”
Bella rolled her eyes. Once. It happened only once, and he
was never going to let it go. “Yes. Go!”
She waited until she heard the Volvo drive away before she
got up from the couch. Without Edward’s cold body, she felt hot, so she decided
that since there was no one in the house, she could lose a few layers.
Stripping down to the nighty and thong she was wearing under her blouse and
skirt, she decided to hunt down something to watch on Edward’s laptop.
He has said before that she could use it, and even told her
where the movie folder was located. She remembered him saying that there were
more than a hundred movies stored there, and now she wanted to see if something
spoke to her.
The only problem she had with wanting to see the movie
collection was that she didn’t remember where the folder was. Edward had even
showed it to her, but she was busy looking at his long fingers working that
mouse and imagining how they could work her body. Simply saying, her mind
wasn’t really focused on the words coming out of Edward’s mouth when he was
explaining it.
So Bella decided to try random folders until she found the
right one.
It took her a few minutes to find, “My Computer,” and then
locate the, “Libraries-Edward,” folder. It had Edward’s name on it, so it
looked promising. It took a few more clicks, but eventually she found a folder
that was labeled, “Movies.”
Clicking on that one, she found the promised list of movies,
but they all had weird names that didn’t really tell her anything. They all had
names of girls with words like, “machine,” or, “toys,” and she couldn’t
understand what they mean, so finally she decided to click on one of them.
“Holy fuck!” Bella yelled when the screen was filled with a
woman who was wearing even less than Bella was, being fucked by a horse’s
wiener. And that wiener was still attached. She dropped the mouse on the floor
in her rush to close the scary movie. “I’m NOT in the mood for a horror movie
right now.”
Since she was not the type to like horror movies, Bella decided
to go with a movie that had toys in it. Toys had to mean that it was a nice
movie, right?
The movie started nice, with plenty of pinks and yellows.
The girl that sat on the bed seemed to be a little old for the tiny skirt and
top that she was wearing, but Bella had seen Lauren wear a similar outfit in
her Facebook photos from the parties Mike would have whenever his parents were
out of town. The girl in the movie seemed to be saying something to her stuffed
animals, but Bella couldn’t understand the language.
“Figures Edward would have movies in foreign languages,” she
told herself.
Bella was about to close the movie when suddenly the scene
was cut to show a man holding a lollipop entering the girl’s bedroom and the
girl called, “Daddy!”
“Maybe this is a movie in English, after all,” Bella
murmured.
She couldn’t understand why the camera was focusing on the
girl licking the lollipop that the man was still holding. It wasn’t very
interesting. Then the camera moved to show that the man began unbuttoning his
pants.
“That’s not a very nice thing to do in a kid’s room,” Bella
said to the screen.
A moment later, the girl was sucking on a very different
kind of lollipop, leaving Bella staring wide-eyed at the screen. Blushing
furiously, she dropped the mouse again before she closed this movie as well.
She scrolled down the list of movies and stopped on one that
was called, “The Russian Institute.” Thinking that it couldn’t be as bad as the
first one, she double clicked the movie. A set of titles appeared on the
screen, with girls in school uniform appearing in the background.
“Oh, a movie about school,” Bella said approvingly. “It
should be interesting to learn about schools in Russia. I just hope this has
subtitles.”
After the titles, the movie showed a student sitting next to
a man that looked like a security guard in a limo. A rustle from the outside of
the window caused Bella to look away from the screen. She walked up to the
window and glanced outside. Not seeing anything, she returned to the computer
and once again knocked the mouse off the table. The girl in the uniform was
bent over the hood of the car, and the man in the security guard suit was
pounding into her from behind.
“What the hell—?” Bella shouted and closed the screen of the
laptop, her cheeks bright red with embarrassment. Only after a few minutes of
taking deep breaths was she able to calm down, open the screen again, and close
the movie.
She was still feeling hot, so she decided to go downstairs
and get herself something to drink. The Cullens always had some juice in the
fridge just for her.
Bella descended the stairs with great care. She did not want
to fall on her face and tear the nice nighty. There was still a chance that
when Edward got back, she could try seducing him again. Jacob told her that if
she lay on the bed in just the right pose, she could get Edward to do anything
she wanted.
As he spoke, Jacob lay on his bed, bent his legs and spread
them wide, and then put his hand on his crotch, smiling widely. Bella doubted
that she would have the nerve to do the same—or that she would look half as hot
as Jacob had while doing so—but she decided that if all else fails, she would
try.
Well, all else did fail, she thought. I guess I’m
going to try it.
When she reached the kitchen and looked in the fridge, she
found the juice there, but she also found a jar of pickles. There was a note
attached to it.
“Use this. Alice.”
“Use this for what?” Bella wondered
aloud. She didn’t know what Alice had meant, but the pickles looked good enough
to eat, so Bella decided to take one.
The cool, slightly
tangy taste of the pickle felt really nice in her mouth. As her lips wrapped
around it, her mind brought up images of the girl sucking the lollipop. That
image was soon replaced by the girl sucking the lollipop of the man that came
into her room.
Bella finished the first pickle and picked up another.
However, this time she did not bite it. She wrapped her lips around it and
wondered if Edward would be as big as the movie-man had been. She pulled the
pickle slowly out of her mouth and looked at it. She noticed the small pimples
on its surface, and when she gave it a slightly squeeze, the moisture of the
pickle dripped on her fingers.
She felt the moisture between her thighs was gathering as
well. She couldn’t stop her thoughts from going back to the woman in the
schoolgirl uniform and the man that was taking her from behind.
Will Edward want to take me like that?
Her breath was becoming heavier as the images continued to
cycle in her head. She put the jar back in the fridge and took the pickle she
was holding in her hands upstairs with her.
She felt really naughty. So far, she had only used her
fingers, but this pickle was looking better and better with each passing
moment. Glancing at the clock on the laptop, she saw that Edward had another
hour before he would come back home and smiled to herself. She had just enough
time to get rid of that itch that he had started and take a shower before he came
back.
Opening the last movie she had seen, she pressed play and
leaned back in the armchair. She watched the man take the woman from behind and
then turn her around and take her on the hood. Taking the pickle, Bella pushed
her thong to the side just like the woman in the movie had done, and pressed
the cool vegetable to her heated place between her thighs. It was much colder
than she had expected, but Bella reminded herself that Edward would be just as
cold and that she should get used to it.
“I should start practicing with pickles!” she told herself
happily.
She knew that if she jumped when Edward pressed his own pickle
against her heated place, he would flash across the room before she could
blink. Determined that it wouldn’t happen, Bella bit down on her lip and pushed
the pickle slightly inside her. The woman in the movie was taking that giant
sausage inside her and making all those noises, but Bella knew that it would be
a long time before she could use a sausage like that. She also hoped that she
would get to see Edward’s mini-man up close and personal before she progressed
to sausages.
She also worried about the voices. The woman sounded like someone
was beating her, and when Jacob showed her how he rubbed his one-eyed snake, he
made sounds like he was choking. Bella didn’t really know if this was normal.
She tried to do the same, but it didn’t sound right to her
ears, so she decided to stop and focus on the movie and her pickle.
She pressed the pickle to the top part of her heated place
and heard herself make a moaning sound that was a lot like the movie woman had
done. It also felt really good, so she did it again. And again.
Before long, she forgot all about the movie and about making
the right sounds. The pickle was no longer cold, either. It was just right,
sliding in and out of her. At first, she was afraid to push it too far, but
when she realized how good it felt, she grew braver. She pushed it further
inside her and then pulled it out. A really nice feeling began growing in her
stomach. It was a lot like the one she would get when Edward kissed her, only
ten times more powerful.
She now wondered what it would feel like if Edward was to
kiss her down there and blushed furiously. She pushed those thoughts
away because the pickle moving in and out of her heated place was so much more
interesting to think about. Then she thought about Edward sliding the pickle in
and out, about him licking her as he did that. Suddenly, the world exploded in
a million colors, and she heard someone scream a long, “Oh....Yes!!!”
It took her a moment to come back to reality and understand
that it was she who was screaming. She took out the pickle with shaking hands,
breathing heavily.
A sharp intake of breath from her left made her jump and
fall from the chair.
Edward was standing at the doorstep, gaping at her.
Bella quickly tried to both close the lid of the laptop and
pull the blanket from the nearby couch to cover herself. Of course, Bella being
Bella, she managed to nearly crush the pickle with the lid and to fall on the
couch when her leg was caught in something.
Edward was able to salvage his precious laptop
from getting pickled, but the commotion brought Emmett to the room to check out
what was going on.
The booming laughter that had spread throughout the house
instantly brought on the rest of the Cullens. It was only enough time for
Edward to shut the screen of the laptop and pull the blanket around Bella’s
shoulders before everyone was gaping at the scene before them.
The screen might have been shut, but the laptop still
continued to play the movie, and the sounds coming from it left no doubt as to
what kind of movie it was playing.
Emmett was laughing so hard he would have choked had he
needed the air. Alice’s giggles spilled despite her placing both hands over her
mouth. Jasper hid his face in her hair, but the shake of his shoulders made his
emotions clear. Carlisle was wearing an amused expression that was very much
like the one Esme had on her face at the moment. Rosalie was all too happy to
see the perfect Golden Boy getting embarrassed.
“Hey, Edward, that's not nice to leave Bella so hot that she
has to play hide the pickle on her own,” Emmett said between guffaws.
Carlisle had to bite his cheek to keep himself from
laughing, but Esme decided that it would be safer to hide her face in his
shirt.
“Shut up, Emmett.” Edward tried to be threatening, but his
embarrassment was almost as big as Bella’s, so the words made no impression on
Emmett.
“Although I can't assure her that you're pickle is bigger,
but at least you have some oral skills to make up for it. I mean you mind fuck
us all the time...”
Suffice it to say that none of the Cullens,
including Bella, were able to look at a pickle the same ever again.
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